This is not me

I have lived in many dif­fer­ent places, had more than one career, and done a lot of dif­fer­ent things. So, in case you’ve ever wondered…
I can­not speak Swedish, and this is not me. Nope, nei­ther is this, although it’s fun to see my name on Amazon.
I do not write para­nor­mal romance nov­els, although it sounds like fun and maybe some­day I will.
I have nev­er been, nor ever will be, a mem­ber of the Gor­geous Ladies of Wrestling (G.L.O.W.), although I was a cheer­leader (small ‘c’) and am a mem­ber of the Gor­geous Ladies of Pub­lish­ing (G.L.O.P.).
I would love to be a zookeep­er, but I’m not.
I enjoy play­ing with my cam­era, but I’m not a pro­fes­sion­al pho­tog­ra­ph­er.
Not an exec­u­tive search pro­fes­sion­al, or a finance and busi­ness affairs exec­u­tive, or a sci­ence teacher.
This is DEFINITELY not me.
Per­haps a pseu­do­nym is in order? Any ideas?
Does any­thing inter­est­ing come up if you Google your name?